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Newspaper Archive of
Walsh County Press
Park River , North Dakota
Lyft
November 29, 1956     Walsh County Press
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November 29, 1956
 

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:: :3 PAGE TWO Relly ' i( _ _ _ .... ,- H.W. Kelly I 00orner Looks like I'm gonna have to make a couple chages in this here column ,if I want to hang on to the few curious peolle whq peek in this Korner every week.'And the reason is that lastwek I got a couple of semi-complaints in regard to the quality of stuff that I put togethe each week for you readers. Complaint No. 1 came from Mrs. Emil Assad down ]n Minneapolis, Minnesota. wh0ed that I just plain butcher the English language every week. She claimed that the way I write and spell is enuff oops) to cause any good English teacher 13 nervous breakdowns and that en a couple occasions, at least, she herself has darn near fainted unconscious at some of the rough language I rise. Well. I can:tell you right here in front of everybody, Mrs. Assad, that I'm :eally sorry anct that I'll sure as hell . :or. I mean sure as heck try and,no} say hell . . er heck again. As for the "dose and dose" tha.(you say I use, well. I ad- mit that I do write a little casual at times but it's only becuz I'm trying to keep from splitting words a the end of altne. However, if it's going to cause any of you people to faint on me while reading, I'll try and get some smart in me. There's nothing that bothers me more than to have a reader conk out on me before he gets a chance to understand the morals (wait a minute I think that last word should be spelt 'morale') of my story The second comment on my writ- ing comes from a gent up at Adams by name of John Rosvold, who says that my column ain't bad except that it could be a little deeper. To tell you folks the "truth when I first "read John's letter I.kinda jumped at conclusions, for ,when he said he wished tha i cou,ld,'b a little deep- er I thought he meant ! Should make it longer. Well. I started to blush like a spanked baby and peeked around quickly to see if anybody wuz looking at me before I started to read the letter thru the second time for fla/or.. About half way through, an awful suspicion crept into my brain that maybe when John wrote "deeper'",he meant more intelligent. Right then and there I felt like I did about eight years ago when I caught my Dad slipping out of a Santa Claus suit. Well I can tell you folks I felt plenty blue about John's request because after racking my brain (heh! hob! heh! [ just can't see how I can come up] to prove to you, John, how seriously itl anything very .,eep in the] I took your suggestion. I figured way of a column, especially when If that it would not only be a big ain't deep myself. I c0ld maybe! try real hard for a week or two. 1 and write on bisecting the atom, solving the Middle East problem,, raising the spud prices and stuff like [ that there, but sooner or later I'd] forget rrry:elf and let my brains show and then you folks'd b mad at me for putting on the dog Nope, :at the risk of making you mad. John, "I ain't gonna make any rash prom- ises about going to such extremes as writing "deeper" columns . . . why. you can laugh if you want to. but I've been accused of having a brain so shallow that it couldn't hold a headache more than 10 or 12] seconds a a time, Why, local theat- roman Don Lindgren even went so far as to say that he bet I couldn't get an idea if I saw Marilyn Mon- roe dressed up in a T-shirt and Bi- kini shorts. Kinda wish that he'd i bet a couple tickets on next week's show 'Bus Stop' (ado} on that! But. while I ain't gonna make an" hasty promises to Mrs. Assad and John Rosvold I will see if I can't improve my English a little so that maybe only 20 skirts or so faint each week. John's request f:r sgmv th!ng "a little dceper" caught me with my L Q. showing, so this week I really didn't have time to dig up anything very scientific. However. John. I want you to believe me when I tell you that I tried out a recently completed experiment in hopes of turning out a real smart column for you this week. A couple days ago I read where some doctor in the Mill City claims that people can think better lying in a prone horizontal position with their heads lowers than their feet on account the blood will rush to the head in large quantities and cause the brain to work whether it wants to or not. Furthermore, this sawbones has been doine some ex.. perimenting and claims that he has positively proven his theory correct. He found that boys lying with heads 15 inches lower than their feet answered questions more quickly and accurately than vlce versa. Well, right off the bat. when I seen this ste, rtlin announcemelt. I thought of your reque't, John. and I started getting visions of myself whipping out high calibre stores for the At- Itantic Monthly, Time Magazine etc The doctor's announcement and your request. John. fired up my in- *,erect o no mall degree and. in fact, I got so interested that I de- cided to ive this new experiment a try .... you might say I was offer- ing myself to science, That ought WALSH COUNTY PRESS, PARK RIVER, NORTH DAKOTA the last year or so, enthusiasm in the Commercial cIub here in ark River has been kinda dying ot. ,y THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 29, help to me, but also to lots of other that, I mean, that generally speak- gents and broads, excuse me, Mrs. ing, the majority of the dues paying Assad, II mean men and ladies} if members do not seem to care enuff our mental'abilities could be im- about the organization to show up proved by merely laying down with once a month for a meeting Inci- our heads slightly lower than the  dentalty, these once-a-month meet-] rest of our bodiesC Or even if we,,ings are held for the"pmmary pur- had to assume a more uncomfortable pose of promoting ideas and civic position like standing on our heads, projects which aid in the progress it would still be worth while if it and betterment of the Park River would improve our. thinking ability, community, both businesswise and Unfortunately though, folks. I got- otherwise, The way I see it. any or- La confess that the result of my ex- eaniztion which benefHs the mere- pertinent was not very eucouraging, bers so emphatically should be de- First off: I tried laying with m: serwng of a more whole-hearted head lower than the rest o my support, I know that some of you body and in practically no time af .will say "We pay our dues" but in all I began to fell quite dizzy. No a small town such as ours, that just matter what some of you wise guy, s isn't enough. Most of you folks know say. 1 am not normally dizzy: and that it takes more than money to wifl be extremely pleased :f you re- ; make the wheels go 'round on any- f:a/n from mouthing . any wise- thing, and that is definitely the case cracks around after reading this in such an organization as the Park statement. How it happened that!River Commercial club where the J them there college boys upon whom membership wouldn't be lar-e even the dec tried his experiments failed ;f a full potential were realized It to get dizzy when requir0d to as- takes a lot of cooperation and of- ve: questions with their feet lower ten individual hard work to make than hir heads is somethin I [ such an important civic group func- don't know unless they had already tion smoothly and effective]y. There roached th saturation point for diz- are. in the course of a year. plenty conclus- of worthwhile projects to work on ziness. And. ya know. this me see 1 " some are concerned with custom- ten,seems pretty logical to .  - ing as how I know quite a bunch of er-merehant relations, others direct- collef,., boys who could stand on ed to the youth of the community, their heads for weeks at a time n still others for the progress of without getting any dizzScr than the city, itself. they already are. To say it again, only blunter- Having no luck, whatsoever, try- Park River's Commercial club must ing to think with. my head lower have better attendance at the than my feet I got the bright idea monthly meetings if the c!ty plans to take a crack at the reverse post- to go ahead. Probably rock bottom ion. Therefore. I assumed a com- was hit last month when nine mem- fortablc position, reclining with my hers showed up for the meeting, in- head higher than my feet. I found eluding officers. At that, the meet- this position more to my liking but mg had to be delayed 45 minu+es not a heckuva lot better aid to men- to muster that great turnout. It's t,M activity because I went to sleep-pretty difficult to conduct much of almost at once. I do not want to ar- a meeting for the entire business section's benefit with such a meagre ue with the good doctor's conclu- sions; perhaps I am sort of a freak, I representation. maybe the only gent in the world t I have a suggestion that I wish that can think better sitting in a I you local merchants and profession- chair than laying with my old nog- ] al men would consider and comment gin 15 inches lower than the rest of l on at the next regular meeting. I my carcass. Anyway, all I know is I propose that the Commercial club hold their meeting in conjunction that I wasted about eight good hours with a dinner. By that. I nean that on the goldurn experiment just try- the group gather at some designated ing to please you. John Rosvoldl place once a month and handle the and. as a result. I winds up that much closer to the deadline with no organization's business during a luncheon. I figure that such a meet, "deep idea." The fact of the matter ing should probably be held at noon i. I didn't come out of the expert- or around 6 P. M In this way the ment with even a shallow idea so club should be ab!e to lick televis- you folks can see why the piekins ionitis. ]onesomc wive, and aftar are rather slim this week About all supper laziness which affect so that's left for me to do is complain many of us. The hour of the meal, and I've got just the subject to the day, the place and the manner tart on. o,f erving could be arranged at the It seems to me. al least, tidal for next meeting. Think it over! The Walsh County Press Mrs. Harry O'Brien Editor & Publisher NATIONAL EDITORIAL Published every Thursday from Tle Press building. Park River, Dakota. and entered in the Park River postoffice under the Act of gross o Marvh J. 1879 Subscription rates, $2.50 a year in North $3 a y:,.r [st, ..'re TODAY,00 super-sensitive futuramic VHF TV antenna No longer must you hesitate because present stations  be channels, or because new stations ore coming on the air. The Ftr gi you complete coverage of TODAY'S channels -- and TOMORROW'S too. Aml if you live in an area whre two or raor channel con be received, eejoy them all perfectly--with the Futurarnic. There's a F'uturamk model "made to order" for this area. See you de,let or installation man. OUTSTANDING PERFORMANII  OUTSTANDING VALU|I The Futuram; gives yog  Extraordinary sessiflv]ly Of a Yalll _clear across the hel " STACKED FUTURAMIOS lhe stacked Futuramic provides even stronger reception for best rmfis in extra-difficult reception areas. SEE Y@UR LOCAL CHANNEL E00AS:EN DEALER BRISTOL DISTRIBUTING COMPANY FARO, BISMARCK, MINOT, QRANI ' FOR1KS ommercial of All Kinds I m At Reasonable Prices * Potato tags , * Envelopes * Desk blotters * Tickets * Sales books * Letterheads * Adding machine rolls * Memo blanks , * Business forms Booklets * Auction bills * Sts00ements * Typewriter ribbons * Folders & Brochures * Wedding Invitations * Napkins WALS,00 COUN \\; Parkgiver, North Dakota ,; ? :: :3 PAGE TWO Relly ' i( _ _ _ .... ,- H.W. Kelly I 00orner Looks like I'm gonna have to make a couple chages in this here column ,if I want to hang on to the few curious peolle whq peek in this Korner every week.'And the reason is that lastwek I got a couple of semi-complaints in regard to the quality of stuff that I put togethe each week for you readers. Complaint No. 1 came from Mrs. Emil Assad down ]n Minneapolis, Minnesota. wh0ed that I just plain butcher the English language every week. She claimed that the way I write and spell is enuff oops) to cause any good English teacher 13 nervous breakdowns and that en a couple occasions, at least, she herself has darn near fainted unconscious at some of the rough language I rise. Well. I can:tell you right here in front of everybody, Mrs. Assad, that I'm :eally sorry anct that I'll sure as hell . :or. I mean sure as heck try and,no} say hell . . er heck again. As for the "dose and dose" tha.(you say I use, well. I ad- mit that I do write a little casual at times but it's only becuz I'm trying to keep from splitting words a the end of altne. However, if it's going to cause any of you people to faint on me while reading, I'll try and get some smart in me. There's nothing that bothers me more than to have a reader conk out on me before he gets a chance to understand the morals (wait a minute I think that last word should be spelt 'morale') of my story The second comment on my writ- ing comes from a gent up at Adams by name of John Rosvold, who says that my column ain't bad except that it could be a little deeper. To tell you folks the "truth when I first "read John's letter I.kinda jumped at conclusions, for ,when he said he wished tha i cou,ld,'b a little deep- er I thought he meant ! Should make it longer. Well. I started to blush like a spanked baby and peeked around quickly to see if anybody wuz looking at me before I started to read the letter thru the second time for fla/or.. About half way through, an awful suspicion crept into my brain that maybe when John wrote "deeper'",he meant more intelligent. Right then and there I felt like I did about eight years ago when I caught my Dad slipping out of a Santa Claus suit. Well I can tell you folks I felt plenty blue about John's request because after racking my brain (heh! hob! heh! [ just can't see how I can come up] to prove to you, John, how seriously itl anything very .,eep in the] I took your suggestion. I figured way of a column, especially when If that it would not only be a big ain't deep myself. I c0ld maybe! try real hard for a week or two. 1 and write on bisecting the atom, solving the Middle East problem,, raising the spud prices and stuff like [ that there, but sooner or later I'd] forget rrry:elf and let my brains show and then you folks'd b mad at me for putting on the dog Nope, :at the risk of making you mad. John, "I ain't gonna make any rash prom- ises about going to such extremes as writing "deeper" columns . . . why. you can laugh if you want to. but I've been accused of having a brain so shallow that it couldn't hold a headache more than 10 or 12] seconds a a time, Why, local theat- roman Don Lindgren even went so far as to say that he bet I couldn't get an idea if I saw Marilyn Mon- roe dressed up in a T-shirt and Bi- kini shorts. Kinda wish that he'd i bet a couple tickets on next week's show 'Bus Stop' (ado} on that! But. while I ain't gonna make an" hasty promises to Mrs. Assad and John Rosvold I will see if I can't improve my English a little so that maybe only 20 skirts or so faint each week. John's request f:r sgmv th!ng "a little dceper" caught me with my L Q. showing, so this week I really didn't have time to dig up anything very scientific. However. John. I want you to believe me when I tell you that I tried out a recently completed experiment in hopes of turning out a real smart column for you this week. A couple days ago I read where some doctor in the Mill City claims that people can think better lying in a prone horizontal position with their heads lowers than their feet on account the blood will rush to the head in large quantities and cause the brain to work whether it wants to or not. Furthermore, this sawbones has been doine some ex.. perimenting and claims that he has positively proven his theory correct. He found that boys lying with heads 15 inches lower than their feet answered questions more quickly and accurately than vlce versa. Well, right off the bat. when I seen this ste, rtlin announcemelt. I thought of your reque't, John. and I started getting visions of myself whipping out high calibre stores for the At- Itantic Monthly, Time Magazine etc The doctor's announcement and your request. John. fired up my in- *,erect o no mall degree and. in fact, I got so interested that I de- cided to ive this new experiment a try .... you might say I was offer- ing myself to science, That ought WALSH COUNTY PRESS, PARK RIVER, NORTH DAKOTA the last year or so, enthusiasm in the Commercial cIub here in ark River has been kinda dying ot. ,y THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 29, help to me, but also to lots of other that, I mean, that generally speak- gents and broads, excuse me, Mrs. ing, the majority of the dues paying Assad, II mean men and ladies} if members do not seem to care enuff our mental'abilities could be im- about the organization to show up proved by merely laying down with once a month for a meeting Inci- our heads slightly lower than the  dentalty, these once-a-month meet-] rest of our bodiesC Or even if we,,ings are held for the"pmmary pur- had to assume a more uncomfortable pose of promoting ideas and civic position like standing on our heads, projects which aid in the progress it would still be worth while if it and betterment of the Park River would improve our. thinking ability, community, both businesswise and Unfortunately though, folks. I got- otherwise, The way I see it. any or- La confess that the result of my ex- eaniztion which benefHs the mere- pertinent was not very eucouraging, bers so emphatically should be de- First off: I tried laying with m: serwng of a more whole-hearted head lower than the rest o my support, I know that some of you body and in practically no time af .will say "We pay our dues" but in all I began to fell quite dizzy. No a small town such as ours, that just matter what some of you wise guy, s isn't enough. Most of you folks know say. 1 am not normally dizzy: and that it takes more than money to wifl be extremely pleased :f you re- ; make the wheels go 'round on any- f:a/n from mouthing . any wise- thing, and that is definitely the case cracks around after reading this in such an organization as the Park statement. How it happened that!River Commercial club where the J them there college boys upon whom membership wouldn't be lar-e even the dec tried his experiments failed ;f a full potential were realized It to get dizzy when requir0d to as- takes a lot of cooperation and of- ve: questions with their feet lower ten individual hard work to make than hir heads is somethin I [ such an important civic group func- don't know unless they had already tion smoothly and effective]y. There roached th saturation point for diz- are. in the course of a year. plenty conclus- of worthwhile projects to work on ziness. And. ya know. this me see 1 " some are concerned with custom- ten,seems pretty logical to .  - ing as how I know quite a bunch of er-merehant relations, others direct- collef,., boys who could stand on ed to the youth of the community, their heads for weeks at a time n still others for the progress of without getting any dizzScr than the city, itself. they already are. To say it again, only blunter- Having no luck, whatsoever, try- Park River's Commercial club must ing to think with. my head lower have better attendance at the than my feet I got the bright idea monthly meetings if the c!ty plans to take a crack at the reverse post- to go ahead. Probably rock bottom ion. Therefore. I assumed a com- was hit last month when nine mem- fortablc position, reclining with my hers showed up for the meeting, in- head higher than my feet. I found eluding officers. At that, the meet- this position more to my liking but mg had to be delayed 45 minu+es not a heckuva lot better aid to men- to muster that great turnout. It's t,M activity because I went to sleep-pretty difficult to conduct much of almost at once. I do not want to ar- a meeting for the entire business section's benefit with such a meagre ue with the good doctor's conclu- sions; perhaps I am sort of a freak, I representation. maybe the only gent in the world t I have a suggestion that I wish that can think better sitting in a I you local merchants and profession- chair than laying with my old nog- ] al men would consider and comment gin 15 inches lower than the rest of l on at the next regular meeting. I my carcass. Anyway, all I know is I propose that the Commercial club hold their meeting in conjunction that I wasted about eight good hours with a dinner. By that. I nean that on the goldurn experiment just try- the group gather at some designated ing to please you. John Rosvoldl place once a month and handle the and. as a result. I winds up that much closer to the deadline with no organization's business during a luncheon. I figure that such a meet, "deep idea." The fact of the matter ing should probably be held at noon i. I didn't come out of the expert- or around 6 P. M In this way the ment with even a shallow idea so club should be ab!e to lick televis- you folks can see why the piekins ionitis. ]onesomc wive, and aftar are rather slim this week About all supper laziness which affect so that's left for me to do is complain many of us. The hour of the meal, and I've got just the subject to the day, the place and the manner tart on. o,f erving could be arranged at the It seems to me. al least, tidal for next meeting. Think it over! The Walsh County Press Mrs. Harry O'Brien Editor & Publisher NATIONAL EDITORIAL Published every Thursday from Tle Press building. Park River, Dakota. and entered in the Park River postoffice under the Act of gross o Marvh J. 1879 Subscription rates, $2.50 a year in North $3 a y:,.r [st, ..'re TODAY,00 super-sensitive futuramic VHF TV antenna No longer must you hesitate because present stations  be channels, or because new stations ore coming on the air. The Ftr gi you complete coverage of TODAY'S channels -- and TOMORROW'S too. Aml if you live in an area whre two or raor channel con be received, eejoy them all perfectly--with the Futurarnic. There's a F'uturamk model "made to order" for this area. See you de,let or installation man. OUTSTANDING PERFORMANII  OUTSTANDING VALU|I The Futuram; gives yog  Extraordinary sessiflv]ly Of a Yalll _clear across the hel " STACKED FUTURAMIOS lhe stacked Futuramic provides even stronger reception for best rmfis in extra-difficult reception areas. SEE Y@UR LOCAL CHANNEL E00AS:EN DEALER BRISTOL DISTRIBUTING COMPANY FARO, BISMARCK, MINOT, QRANI ' FOR1KS ommercial of All Kinds I m At Reasonable Prices * Potato tags , * Envelopes * Desk blotters * Tickets * Sales books * Letterheads * Adding machine rolls * Memo blanks , * Business forms Booklets * Auction bills * Sts00ements * Typewriter ribbons * Folders & Brochures * Wedding Invitations * Napkins WALS,00 COUN \\; Parkgiver, North Dakota ,; ?